I met her in quite an ordinary setting. It was at a gym and I walked in around about 10 am ( I was in between jobs then) and made a wisecrack about the parking situation to which the sassy receptionist came back at me at an instant with a stinging retort. As I walked in, I noticed her there as she laughed quite hard at the exchange that just took place. I was introduced to her and I know, at that moment, I wanted to be with her.
Fast forward a couple of weeks later and we are on our first date (Why it took me so long, I have no idea). The date went well. Fast forward a couple of dates later and we officially became a couple. As I got to know her though, she told me a lot about herself and that she had suffered depression in the past.
I really did not know what depression was or how it was something that keeps coming back from time to time. I decided to go along with it and just cross that bridge when we get there. And eventually, a couple of months into our relationship, I had my first interaction with it. The change was unimaginable. From being the most outgoing and open person I had ever met to a person who was overly defensive and had her walls up and there was no way I was going to get through those walls without understanding her depression and what causes it.
So after talking to her and giving her space along with letting her know I was there for her, a few days later, it subsided and I got to talk to her in-depth as to how she felt at the time and what her thoughts were. Now every person who suffers from depression has different triggers and causes for depression. Every person is different and it took me a while to understand there is no standard procedure to help your wife or girlfriend with it. I have found that supporting her healing processes, letting her know I love her and that I was there for her as a partner and not a doctor or therapist, understanding and shielding her from her triggers as well as just giving her space was the key to helping her with her depression. I think from a personal point of view, even patience and understanding is key and is of vital importance. To those who suffer from depression, reach out, even in your darkest moments, you need to know that there are people out there who can and want to help you and be there for you. Just reach out, it will make a difference.